Trapped Inside a
Month of Grey
"Don't you want to do something, Angel?"
"Like what?" he asked.
"Celebrate, or something. Angelus is gone. You never have to worry about that monster coming back."
He laughed... a full, easy laugh that Willow had never heard before, and he pulled her into his arms.
"No, Willow. Like I said, nothing has changed. I'm ecstatic that he can't come back and hurt any of you anymore, but this doesn't change anything in my life. I'm happy right where I am," he rested his chin on the top of her head as she snuggled against him.
"I miss this," she whispered quietly.
"Cuddling with me?" he asked, bemused.
"Cuddling, period. And, those other things..."
"It's nice to hold someone, and be held, isn't it?"
"Not just that... holding is nice, though..."
"What else, Willow? Tell me," his voice grew darker, and more serious. Things he had discovered that night had answered questions he didn't even know he had, and now he wanted to help his friend.
"I can't, Angel. It's about that other stuff... you know... I miss that," she whispered against his shirt.
"Willow," he gently admonished.
"Sex, Angel... I miss the sex," she blurted out.
Angel froze, not really expecting her to be so blunt. Over the years he had known Willow, sex was something that he had never sensed she would be comfortable talking about, much less having.
She began pulling away from him, "I'm sorry, Angel... I didn't mean to... I just..."
Angel grunted, pulling her tightly against him again, "Don't be sorry, Willow. I just never realized... never thought about you and Oz being that intimate."
"We were together for almost two years."
"I know, but... I just never thought about you that way. Part of me still sees you as the little girl you were four years ago when we met. You've changed so much... more than anyone else in the group, even Cordelia. You're a woman now... a very intelligent, very special, very beautiful woman."
Willow was glad it was dark in the room, and her face was buried in his chest so he wouldn't see the deep flush that spread over her cheeks and down her body, forgetting that he would be able to feel the change in her body temperature.
"Tell me more... tell me what you miss about it."
"I don't... I can't, Angel..."
"Yes, you can. Talk to me," he persuaded.
"Angel, you know what it's like... what it feels like, falling over that edge. Sex is a good thing. I was afraid of it for so long, and then Oz showed me. He guided me and he taught me and he was wonderful. Even the first time, which I know is supposed to be horrible, it was so good. I couldn't breathe, didn't want to, didn't want that moment to end... and then after that, it got better and better, and he was... he taught me stuff, and taught me what to do, and now that's he's gone, I miss that. I mean, I know I can... with myself, you know... but it's not the same, and, oh my God, I've said way too much..."
Angel chuckled, a deep, rumbling chuckle, thankful that he hadn't pulled Willow any further into his lap where she would certainly be able to feel the effect her words had on him.
She froze in his arms, afraid to move after she had revealed so much to him. He felt her tense, and pushed her away slightly, just enough so that he could peer into her vibrant eyes, eyes that were glistening both with watery tears and just a tinge of lust, along with more than a little embarrassment.
"Don't be embarrassed... I know exactly how you feel, Willow. And I... I do the same thing. Well, not the same way as you, of course, and I know it's not the same. Imagine what it's like for me... so cold, all the time. To be able to sink myself into the heat of a woman... it can warm my entire body. I miss it, too."
"But, Angel, you can go out and have sex anytime you want..." she hinted.
"And you can't?"
"I'm not... guys don't fall all over me... I'm not beautiful like Buffy and Cordelia..."
"Willow, you're beautiful in your own very special way. If you really wanted to, you wouldn't have any problem finding a man that would have sex with you. But you can't do that, can you, anymore than I can? Just because we could, doesn't mean we want to, not like that, not with someone that we don't care about at all."
As Willow dropped her chin, unable to look him in the eye anymore, Angel made a decision, unaware that he was even making it. With Willow's soft words, and the way her body was pressed against his, along with the soft glow of the few candles that Willow had lit while he was gone dancing off the walls, Angel knew that he wanted her. At that moment, he wanted nothing more on Earth that to lose himself in Willow's arms, and to maybe, if only for a few hours, take away a little of her pain as well.
He placed his index finger under her chin, lifting it until she was forced to meet his eyes again, making sure that she saw and understood his want before pressing a soft kiss against her lips.
The jolt of electricity that passed between the two of them made them both gasp, their eyes meeting briefly before they came together for another kiss.
Neither of them felt any need to rush... there was no place to be, no one to save, no one to see... just each other. Their lips caressed each other's, not delicate, but not forcefully, either. Meeting and melting, pulling apart, then coming together again, meeting and melting, over and over. Tentatively, their tongues met, tasting each other, gently moving together, setting a rhythm, and then abandoning it for another.
His arms encircled her waist, hugging her tightly to his body as one hand splayed across her back, massaging the fabric of her thin sweater between his fingers as his other tangled gently in her hair.
Suddenly she pulled away from his kisses, startling him until he realized that she was only moving so that she could straddle his legs, pushing him back against the couch as their lips met once more. She placed her hands on his shoulders and his arms snaked around her body again, his hands moving underneath her sweater to feel the heat of her bare skin.
"Willow," he hissed as she ground her crotch against his erection, feeling her heat through her jeans.
In response, she rocked against him, building her own arousal as the realization set in that she was about to make love with Angel. This was something more than sex, they both knew. While they certainly weren't in love with each other, they did care deeply for one another, and knew this was a way for them both to escape their own lives for a while, something they both wanted and needed.
He easily pulled her sweater over her head and tossed it to the side before cradling her satin-clad breasts in his hands, kneading them softly as she pushed forward into his hands, sighing softly into his mouth.
He slowly slid one strap down off her shoulder, following it with a trail of wet kisses until it was low enough for him to wrap his lips around the peach tip of her nipple, his tongue swirling around and around the stimulated peak.
Willow dug her fingers into his shoulders as the exquisite pleasure ripped through her body. Angel repeated his motions on her other side, finally reaching behind her and deftly unhooking her bra.
He took one breast in each of his hands, his mouth alternating between them both as Willow shuddered and sighed on top of him, rocking slowly against him. Releasing one smooth globe, his fingers moved to the clasp of her jeans, which he released with a snap. Their lips met again, barely moving against each other as Angel slowly unzipped her pants. Before moving to the inside, he grasped her core through the jeans, roughly stroking her with his thumb.
With his fingers, he grabbed at the waistband of her panties as they peeked through the V of her open jeans, pulling them away from her body before sliding his hand inside. His thumb brushed against her clitoris before dipping lower and parting her folds. He rubbed slowly, feeling no need to rush her climax, spreading the moisture across her outer lips. She pressed against his thumb, unconsciously trying to force him to relieve the warm ache spreading through her body. Using his fingers, he pried her open before finally pressing against her with his thumb and rubbing her clit with short, firm strokes. Her body tensed, and he knew she was about to fall into orgasm when her head fell to his shoulder, and she bit down into his shirt, barely nipping his skin to keep from crying out.
He pressed the hard nub between his thumb and index finger, rolling it gently, then harder, slowing the pace to a crawl before increasing the pressure and speed. Her body froze and she screamed his name, waves of desire rolling through her body as she came.
Angel kept up the pressure, slowly decreasing his movements as she came down from her orgasm. She nestled her face against his neck as her breathing gradually resumed it's natural cadence before pulling away to rest her forehead against his.
She looked into his eyes, darker than normal, yet twinkling and promising at the same time.
"Thank you," she sighed, offering him a gentle smile in the candlelight.
"I'm not finished with you yet," he replied, lifting her into his arms as he stood from the couch.
He carried her into the bedroom, swinging her around as he passed through the door so that he could kick it closed, knowing that neither Doyle nor Cordelia would think twice about barging into his apartment in the morning.
He gently laid Willow out on the bed, pulling her shoes off, followed by her jeans and panties. He admired her for a moment, wondering how he could have ever not noticed how beautiful she was before.
He pulled his black sweater off and dropped it on the floor. Just as he was getting ready to unbuckle his belt, Willow scooted to the edge of the bed, placing her hand over his.
Slowly, she unbuckled the belt, and unsnapped the fastener of his pants, never taking her eyes from his. As she pulled down the zipper, her mouth closed over his navel, licking a wet trail in a circle around it, before sweeping her tongue inside, and pulling back with a smack of her lips.
Angel groaned... Oz had taught her well.
She pulled his pants open wide, not lowering them. She cupped his erection through the silk of his boxers, her small hand not quite stretching around his entire girth.
Her hot breath bounced off his stomach, his unneeded breaths coming faster and faster in anticipation of her next move. Framing the length of his cock with her fingers through the silk, she ran her tongue from the base to the tip, wetting the fabric before caressing him with her hand.
"Willow..." he gasped, placing his hands on her shoulders for balance.
She grinned up at him, reaching inside his boxers to pull his erection free before engulfing him in her hot mouth.
He knew this wasn't her first time as she expertly sucked on the tip of his cock, swirling her tongue along the bottom of the ridge. She cupped his balls in her other hand, not squeezing, but rolling them gently in her palm. Her other hand held his shaft, her thumb stroking firmly along the seam running from the base to the head. Angel was in blissful agony, never wanting her to stop her torment, and yet wishing that she would hurry and release him, letting him explode.
She flicked at the tip with her tongue, the speed of her hand increasing along with the pressure she placed on his cock. Sliding her lips back over the head, she sucked him hard, her cheeks caving in as she created a hot, wet vacuum with her mouth. Angel's eyed were clenched shut, his fingers digging into her shoulders as he fought to control his impending orgasm.
Willow was having none of that... her control had been lost on him, and she wouldn't have him holding back on her. She released her hold on his testicles, and reached further back, pressing her fingers against his perineum, vigorously massaging his prostate gland through the thin skin.
Angel shouted, his body jerking in a glorious spasm as he came, spilling his seed in delicious spurts inside her accepting mouth. Willow continued to nuzzle his member, milking the last vestiges of his orgasm, swallowing, and licking him clean as he slowly relaxed.
He released his grip on her shoulders, reaching up to cradle her head in his hands, tilting her face to look up at him.
"You're amazing, Willow," he told her breathlessly, bending to capture her mouth with his own.
He pushed her back on the bed, and she stretched back against the pillows, waiting for him to join her. He kicked off his shoes and pants, lying down on his side to face her. Placing his hand on her stomach, he leaned in and pried her lips open with his own, his tongue delving inside to push against hers.
He hooked one of his legs over hers, spreading her legs slightly as he softly rubbed his thigh against her mound, the friction causing his cock to begin hardening again.
He showered her face and throat with kisses, moving lower to seize her taut nipples between his teeth, worrying them to an almost painful point of hardness.
"Angel," she gasped, "please... I need you."
A low grumble emanated from the back of his throat, "You need me how, Willow?"
"Inside me... please, I need you inside me," she begged.
He moved himself over her body, settling between her legs... legs that were quivering in anticipation. Reaching between their bodies, he swept his fingers along her slit, prying her lips open as he prepared to enter her.
Willow reached out, raking her short nails down his chest, feeling the muscles of his stomach clench and release, his abdomen rippling with the effect.
His cock pressed against her opening, bumping clumsily against her clit.
"Now, Angel!" she instructed.
Pulling his hips back, he quickly sheathed himself inside her, complying with her wishes.
He stilled, reveling in the feel of her hot, tight core enveloping his cock. Her muscles clamped down around him as she grew accustomed to his size, her breath coming in shallow gulps.
He lowered himself onto his elbows, placing his hands on either side of her head.
Placing soft kisses on her lips, he asked, "Are you all right?"
"Better than, Angel... better than..."
He pulled back before thrusting into her again, setting a slow, easy rhythm, rocking against the cradle of her hips, murmuring into her ear, telling her how good she felt wrapped around him.
Finally, Willow could stand his gentleness no more. Cupping his face in her hands, she forced him to meet her eyes, "Harder, Angel... I'm not going to break."
Angel captured her lips in a punishing kiss, one that was neither gentle or slow, plundering her mouth with his tongue, knowing that he'd leave her lips swollen from the passion he exerted. He pushed himself back onto his knees, and grabbed her thighs in his hands, opening her further before pulling out and slamming back into her. She cried out as he ravished her body, the earlier cautiousness having been abandoned. She met his rhythm stroke for stroke until it finally became too much for her. She gave up, allowing Angel to manipulate her body however he pleased, which, in turn, pleased her.
With each thrust, she cried out his name, her walls spasming around his cock as she fell closer to the edge. His hands still held her thighs... there would be finger-shaped bruises when they were finished. He slid one hand to her center, this thumb settling against her engorged clit as it protruded from between her swollen lips.
All he had to do was press against the over-sensitized bundle of nerves to make her scream, her orgasm coursing through her body in waves as she shuddered and shook beneath him, her vaginal muscles squeezing his member with a strength he hadn't known her to possess. With one last violent thrust, he came inside her, his body giving over to his need.
Angel fell on top of Willow, who cradled him in her arms, and they spent long moments enveloped in a loving, needy hug as their breathing returned to normal.
"Think this is what Cordelia had in mind when she came up with her scheme to cheer me up?" he asked.
"Not quite..." she replied, "Angel, no one can ever know about this."
"Willow, we're both adults... we did nothing wrong. I'm not planning on picking up the phone and telling Buffy, but I'm not ashamed of it, either, and I plan on doing it again and again until I have to let you go so you can go back to Sunnydale."
"We need this, Willow, and we deserve it. I'm not sorry, and, if you don't mind me saying so, you were incredible."
"Not so bad yourself, old man," she giggled drowsily, "I don't regret it, Angel," she said, turning serious, "It's just that what we've done can hurt people... people we both care about. I don't want that, and I don't think you do, either."
"No, I don't. Why don't we try to get some sleep, and we'll talk about it more in the morning?"
Willow glanced over at the alarm clock beside his bed, noting the time as 3:25.
"Merry Christmas, Angel."
He rolled over onto his back, holding her tightly in his arms against his chest, kissing her lips softly, "You, too, Willow... you, too."
To be continued...??