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vampire thought grimly.
"Dont you even think about
jumping down and running away," the redhead screamed at him, "What the hell are
you doing on my balcony?"
She stood poised and ready, stake in hand.
Angel had hoped to spy unnoticed, but a
stumble over a flowerpot had divulged his secret.
" < I what?
Im sorry? Im embarrassed, humiliated
? Im an idiot
"One more time
what are you
doing on my balcony? Are you all right?" Her arm holding the stake dropped to her
Angel smirked, < Just like her
thinking about my well being instead of her own
"Angel, come ins
"Dont!" Angel cut her off.
"Angel, please come inside," she
continued, her exasperation evident in her voice.
"That was stupid, Willow," he
told her as he stepped over the threshold into her apartment.
"Havent you learned that
inviting vampires into your home is a bad thing?"
"Obviously you dont have as much
faith in my spell casting abilities as I do
"But nothing. I cast a spell that can,
and will, never be broken. If I do say so myself, that spell is untouchable
that there is absolutely no danger in inviting you into my home," she replied curtly,
thinking back to the time when she, first, restored Angels soul, and second, again
unbeknownst to Buffy and Giles, when she discovered the dangerous ritual which involved
transporting her own soul into Hell to bring him back. It seemed like lifetimes ago.
"Willow, you havent seen or
heard from me in years
you have no idea whats happened to me since then. There
is no such thing as an unbreakable spell
you should know that as well as anybody. If
it can be cast, it can be uncast."
"I would have known if it had been
"How? ESP? Are you psychic now,
too?" he asked, much more sarcastically than he had intended to.
"I thought we were friends, Angel? Why
are you here? Come all the way across the country to insult me?"
Angel looked slightly embarrassed as he
inspected a particularly fascinating section of the hardwood floor.
"Why are you here?"
Angel would have liked nothing better than
to jump over the balcony and disappear. It wasnt often that vampires got
embarrassed, and this was one of those few times. The last time Willow had seen Angel, he
was skulking off into the darkness of night, leaving Willow to her own defenses after she
escaped from Hell with him in tow.
And now, five years later, on the other side of the country, he was tripping over
flowerpots on her balcony.
"Making sure youre OK."
<OK, Dead Boy
> Angel had adopted Xanders pet name years before. <
That made sense
"Angel, I havent seen or heard
from you in five years, and all the sudden youre checking up on me. Youre
going to have to do better than that."
"I wish I could, but I
But," he confessed, "Ive been here before
not the first time. And
I didnt mean to insult you,
especially after youve done so much for me. Willow
I didnt mean for you
to catch me on your balcony
we vampires are supposed to be experts at being stealth,
and I really
I just dont know what to say to you."
"Angel, I dont understand
whats going on here at all. Why dont you try telling me the truth?"
It had been five years since Willows
spell brought Angel back from Hell and restored his soul permanently. The Scooby Gang and
their esteemed leader had long left Sunnydale. Buffy and Giles had taken off for parts
unknown, following evil wherever it lurked. Xander and Cordelia were attending UCLA, and
Willow was a senior at NYU. Angel had been the only one to stay behind in Sunnydale, or so
Willow had thought.
"Look, you guysyou, Cordelia,
even Xanderare the only family Ive had in a very long time.
After what happened, and I, I
grew apart from all of you, and you all left
Sunnydale, Ive checked up on youall of youperiodically. I couldnt
stand it if anything happened to any of you after all you did for me. I just havent
been caught before now, " he stated, somewhat sheepishly.
"Angel, thats really sweet and
all, but I just really dont get it."
"I should be going now, Willow. I can
see that youre just fine."
Willow had grown up. The body of the
seventeen-year-old that he remembered had been replaced with the curvy body of an adult. A
beautiful adult. She had cut her long, red hair much shorter. It now hung just below her
chin, tucked delightfully behind one ear. She still wore little makeup, and her face was
still as open and innocent as ever. Willow had blossomed into an incredible woman.
"Oh no you dont
youre not just going to jump off my balcony and leave after two minutes of playing
cryptic boy. Youre going to stay here and talk to me
See? Remember my resolve
face? This is it, and youre not leaving."
Angel sighed, running his fingers through
his dark hair. He remembered the resolve face all too well.
"OK, but just for a little
Angel took a seat on her couch, and was
truly startled by Willows actions. With a leap, she landed in his lap, arms wrapped
tightly around his neck.
"God, Angel, Im so glad to see
Ive been worried sick over you for five years," she pounded her small
fist into his chest for emphasis, "Why? How come you never let me know that you were
Not quite knowing what to do with his arms,
he slowly slid them around her waist, gently moving her into a more comfortable position
on his lap, since she showed no signs of intending to move soon. < This is very odd
"I thought that it was best for all of
you. Your association with me almost got all of you killed."
"Thats a lame excuse,
I worked my butt off to bring you back, and the thanks I got was your
JERK!" Willows words were harsh, but her
Angel was shocked by her boldness, but the
tears welling in her eyes were pure Willow.
"Who are you, and what have you done
with my Willow?" he asked tenderly, guiltily.
< Did I do this? Is this anger, this
change in her my fault, or did little Willow finally grow up on her own
"Your Willow? You never had a
you had a Buffy, remember? I was Xanders Willow, and Ozs Willow,
but never got to be Angels Willow
Angel chuckled. This was definitely not the
same Willow, but he liked her as well. This was becoming increasingly more bizarre. In a
million years, he could have never imagined himself sitting on Willows couch, with
her draped across his lap. He never imagined it, but that didnt mean that he
didnt like it.
"Never got to be? That almost makes it
sound as if you wanted to be
"Once again, I open my mouth and too
much comes out," Willow confessed. "Cmon, Angel, youre smarter than
that. I was seventeen, and you were this older, dark, sexy, gorgeous, mystery man. Of
course I wanted you. But you belonged to Buffy, and I was only an annoying little kid to
"Never! Willow, youre the one
that saved my life, and you think that you were an annoyance to me?"
"You never even thanked me.
" she repeated.
"Is it too late now?" he asked,
his deep voice turning surprisingly sultry.
"Its never too late
"Fine, then. Willow Rosenberg, I owe
you my everything for restoring my soul, and traveling into the pits of Hell to bring me
back to Earth."
Willow was surprised by the serious tone of
"Im not kidding, Willow. Buffy
had to save the world, but youre only concern was saving me. Why?"
"This conversation is getting awfully
maybe we should lighten things up!"
Willow uncomfortably began to slide off his
lap, only to be caught in Angels strong hands.
"Not so fastI asked you a
serious question... and quit wiggling."
"For Buffy, of course," she
stuttered over the words, "I had to bring you back for her
"Why do I have the distinct impression
that youre lying?"
"Because youre a vampire, and
you have this weird sixth sense thingy?"
Angel snickered again, "Always the
smart one, werent you, Tinkerbell?"
"Tinkerbell? What the hell is
"You always reminded me of a little
fairy, running around casting happy spells
Youve always been Tinkerbell to
Willow chortled with laughter, "You
know, Angel, I think youre the only one that I would ever let get away with calling
Again, she tried to scoot off his lap, only
once again to have her attempts thwarted by the vampire.
"Dont change the subject. I
still want to know why
and you really have to stop wriggling."
"Angel, dont ask questions that
you really dont want the answers to
"I know the answer, Willow. I just
want to hear you say it
This time Willow succeeded in jumping off
"You smug, arrogant, son of a
female dog," she was standing in front of Angel now, hands on her hips,
looking every bit the part of a dangerous, angry female.
"What?!" Angel knew that this was
coming, knew that he deserved her anger, but when it came, he still wasnt expecting
< Why am I doing this? And why am I
reacting this way to her wiggling around in my lap
? This is Willow, for
"You show up, lurking around on my
balcony, after five years, and after five minutes you expect me to divulge the biggest
secret that Ive ever kept in my life? How dare you?!"
"Willow, I-Im sorry," he
stammered, rising from the couch, "I didnt mean to
I dont know what
I meant to do
I shouldnt be here
He was quickly moving back towards the
balcony doors from whence he came, when Willow grabbed him by the arm, and with more force
than he imagined that she could have, spun him around to face her.
Tears were forming in her eyes, and she
spit the words at him. "I love you."
Angel was stunned. He never really expected
to hear her say the words. He never expected any of the events of this evening to happen.
"Happy now? Is that what you wanted to
hear, Angel? I love you, damn it. I never meant to, and I certainly would have stopped it
if I could, but I love you."
Her tears spilled over, running down her flushed cheeks.
? When did you
fall in love with me?"
Angel was truly stunned by Willow. In the
almost four years since she had left Sunnydale, Angel had traveled to check on her at
least once a year. He knew that she had a crush on him. He could see her sit up straighter
in her chair when hed join them at the Bronze, an almost unnaturally huge smile of
welcome and acceptance when hed sit beside her at the table. On the instances when
hed turn his attentions to speak with her, she never could quite control the blush
that would slowly creep into her cheeks.
But he had never once suspected that it was anything deeper. He knew, through Buffy, her
feelings for Xander, and, finally, her love for Oz, the one teenage boy in Sunnydale that
had appreciated Willow for the incredible, intelligent beautiful young girl that she was.
She loved him? He quickly scanned his
memories for signs that she could have given him. He thought back to the things he had
learned about her over the years, searching for a clue. He came up with nothing. He knew
that she and Oz had gone their separate ways after graduation. He, too, had gone to Los
Angeles, hoping for a career in music, and they had decided to put romance on hold in lieu
Angel had seen the changes in her over the
years of his visits, the maturation. He hadnt sought to seek any deeper knowledge of
her life, concerning himself only with her physical well being. Her words of love shocked
him, and saddened him. He should have seen it, he told himself. Should have been more
aware of her.
"I thought you knew the answers
already. I thought that you just wanted to hear me say the words," she sputtered back
"Willow, I just thought
< What did I think? What do I think now?
How do I make this right? >
"I just thought that you had a little
crush on me
I never suspected that it was anything more
"You thought that I would send myself
to Hell to rescue you because of a little crush?"
Willow was furious with him. It had been so
obvious, she thought. Never, ever mentioning to anyone, as a teen she had hoped that no
one would see through her ruse. As she had grown older, and thought back upon her actions,
she had decided that anyone could have seen the love she felt for Angel. Especially Angel.
Didnt two hundred and forty plus years teach him anything about women? His
disappearance immediately after his return from Hell had felt like an ugly, cold slap on
the face to her. He hadnt given her one word of thanks, no sign of his appreciation.
She had gone to Hell for this man, literally. The wounds inflicted upon her soul had taken
years to heal, although she had hidden this from her friends. Hell was bad. Opening the
portal through that damn statue and being sucked into the vortex had been a physical pain
unlike anything ever imagined. As if he had been expecting her, Angel was waiting on the
other side. Without speaking, she had taken his hand, and brought them back. The visions,
the nightmares, had plagued her for years. Heaven and Hell were beyond her grasp at
seventeen. The repercussions of being one of the very, very few souls on Earth to know for
a fact that Hell was a real place, someplace real people were sent to when they died, had
changed her forever. She had grown up at that moment. And the one person that knew what
she had gone through left without a trace. She knew he had his reasons. Shame,
embarrassment, his own personal scars. He had killed Jenny, along with countless other
But, Willow knew, he was Angel. Angelus had
done those things. They all knew that
Buffy, Giles, even Xander, didnt hold
Willow had needed him, and he wasnt
there. Not Angelus
Angel had hurt her.
Over the years, in her own healing, part of the process had been to forgive Angel. She
loved him, in spite of what he had done. But the anger was boiling over now that she had
him standing in her living room, acting like the oblivious male that he was.
"When, Willow? Tell me," he
"When you were gone. When the demon
had control of your body. I realized how much I missed you, and, eventually, how much I
"You dont love me, Willow
Im a monster, remember?"
dare!! All my life, people have told me how I should feel, what I should do, how I should
act. Im not a little girl anymore, Angel. I had to grow up. You made me grow up. I
had to grow up because of you
"Im not finished. Dont you
interrupt me! Xander tried to tell me that I didnt love him
that it was just
friendship, that I was confused because we were best friends, because we were so
he tried to tell me that I couldnt love him, because he was
why doesnt anyone ever want me to be in love with them? Whats
so bad about my love?"
"Nothing is wrong with your love,
Im sorry. But love? Me? You dont even know
"And you dont even know me, but
apparently that hasnt stopped you from spying on me
"Youre right, Willow
guess I dont know you at all. But that doesnt mean that I dont care
after what you did for me."
"Youre damn right, you
dont know me
so dont you dare try to tell me that I dont love you.
And dont forget, I DO know you. Remember Hell? Or have you forgotten that already,
because I sure havent?"
"Ill never forget
"Then dont forget the things I
I saw your life, remember? I saw those images, I felt them, too."
"Why didnt you ever tell
"Tell you what? That I had fallen in
love with you, or that I was inside your head? That I was inside your past? What? Why
didnt I ever tell you what?"
"Why didnt you tell me that you
loved me? I could have helped you
I could have
done things differently."
"WHEN?! You disappeared, remember?
And, anyway, even if I had had the chance, I wouldnt have. You were Buffys! I
would have just made a fool out of myself. And, like an idiot, I thought that just maybe
what I had done for you would be enough to show you what you meant to me."
"Oh, my God, Willow, youre not
Angel sank back onto her couch, elbows
resting on his knees, head in his hands.
"Willow, Im so sorry. I never,
ever meant to cause you so much pain. I can never repay you for what you did for me, and
Ive ruined our friendship. You mean so much to me. Im so sorry that I
wasnt there for you."
Willow sat beside him on the couch, and
placed her hand on his leg, giving it a small squeeze that sent shivers through
Angels body, reverting back to the old Willow to comfort him, forgetting her anger.
She knew that he honestly didnt know what he was responsible for. He had spent so
many years trying to come to terms with what Angelus had done, he had forgotten to right
the wrongs that Angel had done.
"Angel, its OK. Its in the
past now. I just wasnt expecting you to show up tonight
I was completely
"In the past?" he questioned, his
gaze rising to meet hers, "Didnt you just tell me that you love me?"
"Im always going to love you,
but that doesnt mean that Im foolish enough to expect anything
from you, to expect you to return my feelings."
She cut off his words, "Cmon,
Angel. Before these last few minutes you never once thought about the two of us as an
us. Your surprise is obvious. Its a foreign concept to you. Im
just being honest
"Dont tell me what I think, or
what I thought
I dont know what Im thinking or feeling right now.
Confused, bewildered, honored, embarrassed, a little aroused
Willows shocked expression forced yet
another small chuckle out of him, the mood lightening considerably after the strain of the
last few minutes.
"Willow, Ive watched you grow up
from afar over the last five years. You may have never known, but I was around
not in the way that I should have been, but I was watching. Honestly, Willow, I just
thought it was a crush. Vampire or not, Im still just a man. Were known for
our infernal stupidity when it comes to women. I knew
I saw it before anyone else,
with the possible exception of Oz
"Knew what?" she asked softly.
"Knew that you were going to be an
incredible woman. Watching it happen over the years, watching you blossom like a strong,
I just never once suspected that you had loved me. God, Im an
idiot. You are beautiful, Willow, inside and out, and you have just thrown me for quite a
"Dont say things that you
"Have you ever known me to lie?"
Willow shifted uncomfortably on the couch.
< Once or twice. >
"Dont turn away from me,
Tinkerbell," he said tenderly.
He placed his hand on her shoulder and
gently turned her back to him.
"Weve opened this can of
lets see it through to the end."
"The end? What sort of ending do you
have in mind? Im humiliated and embarrassed, youre uncomfortable and
dont know what to say
I think we have a quandary," she stated resolutely.
"Then lets not say
Angels mouth captured Willows
in a soft kiss, his lips barely grazing over hers. She opened her mouth to protest, only
to be silenced as he brought his lips against hers again.
< What am I doing? >
< What is he doing? >
Before she could try to protest again,
Angel had easily lifted her back onto his lap, never breaking their sweet kiss.
Willow pulled away, "Angel,
He pressed his lips against her throat,
taking great delights in the moan that escaped her mouth. Her fingers found the nape of
his neck, pulling him tightly against her neck. He responded by opening his mouth a little
wider, his tongue tracing a wet trail from her neck to her earlobe, where he nibbled
softly before plunging his tongue into her ear, pulling back in a gentle kiss. His hands
caressed the small of her back, delighting in the newfound sensations coming from touching
Willow in this way.
"Oh, God, Angel
"Let me make love to you, Willow
let me show you how much you mean to me, how important you are in my life
Her hands grasped his shoulders, trying to
push him away from her.
"Angel, stop. This isnt want you
want. You feel bad for hurting me, and youre trying to pacify me
"Willow, I readily admit that
Ive never given the two of us much serious thought
sexually, that is
that doesnt mean that right now, at this moment, I dont want you more than
anything, to show you what I should have shown you long ago. This isnt just about
thanking you for the sacrifices that you made for me
and I do know. I was there, I
know what going to Hell did to you. I was there because I deserved to be
never be back there again. Youre the angel, not me. But this isnt about
this is about showing you how beautiful you are, and how much I feel for you,
how much I want you."
Angel knew that he shouldnt be saying
these things to her, but he couldnt stop himself. He had been so alone for so long.
After his world in Sunnydale fell apart, he had isolated himself from everyone. He had
never allowed himself to grow close to anyone, never formed any attachments.
"Angel, I dont know if I could
handle making love to you, only to have you disappear on me again. I dont think I
could take it
"I wont disappear, Willow. I
promise. Give yourself to me
Show me that you trust me."
< Where are these words coming from?
What on earth am I saying to her
? Trust me? Why on earth should she trust me?
Ive done nothing, Ive given her no reason to trust me, and now Im trying
to convince her to let me make love to her? Shut up, Dead-Boy! Quit saying these
get your raging vampire hormones under control
"Angel, no! I cant let you do
this to me," she pulled herself out of this grasp and crumpled in a small heap next
to him on the couch.
Seeing her vulnerable form next to him,
Angel forced back his feelings of lust.
"Jesus, Willow, Im so
" his words were soft and tender, "It seems like every time I try to
make things better for you, I just make it worse. But Im not leaving. Im not
going to make it worse by leaving you alone."
Willow whimpered next to him as his hand
gently rubbed her back.
"Youre not going away?" she
Not even if you ask me to. I
dont want to be anyplace other than right here."
These words meant more to Willow than
anything else he could have said to her. Through all the years that she had known him, he
always seemed to disappear. But, for the most part, he hadnt lied to her, either. If
he said he wasnt going to leave, that he didnt want to leave, he meant it.
Feeling empowered, emboldened, she lifted
herself up to face Angel.
"One kiss and you turn me back into a
simpering seventeen year old
"That was something a little more than
one kiss, Tinkerbell."
"You know what I mean
"Willow, you are a woman now. You are
definitely not the same shy, innocent ingénue that you were five years ago. You are a
very different Willow now
Hearing those words made Willow shudder, and this time it was she, not Angel, who
initiated the kiss. Taking his face in her hands, she drew herself towards his lips,
pressing against them with an urgency not known to her before now. Her tongue circled with
his, dancing together in a hot, wet embrace. His arms snaked around her small back,
crushing her body tightly against his. Angel pulled them up off of the couch, clutching
her small body before gently setting her feet on the ground.
"Willow, we really shouldnt do
"Would you make up your mind? You want
me, you dont want me, you want me, then you dont again
"Its not as simple as that and
you know it. Ive been here for twenty minutes. We both need time to think about
whats going on here, and what were doing."
Taking her hands, he pulled her back down
onto the couch, "Sit back down her with me and lets talk about this
"I dont want to talk about it,
Angel. For once in my life, I want to throw caution to the wind and make love to the man
Ive been dreaming of since I was sixteen."
"Youve been dreaming of an
illusion, Willow. You said it yourself
older, dark, sexy, mystery
Youve created this fantasy person
someone thats not
"Youre not older? Dark and sexy?
Angel couldnt stop the chuckle that
escaped his lips.
"Willow, Im a bloodsucking
"Angelus is the bloodsucking vampire,
"I am, Willow
human. You were there, you saw it. You know what I am
"And I still want you anyway. God,
look at me
Im begging you to have sex with me
how attractive is
"Its very attractive, Willow. No
one has wanted me for a very long time. Please, dont think Im not flattered,
or that Im not attracted to you
Damn it, Willow, you
deserve so much more that what I have to offer you. You know that there is no future in
we cant be together. You deserve a man that can be there for you every
minute of every day. Someone human. Someone deserving
"I deserve a night of happiness with
you. Its the least you can do
< Great, Willow
pull the guilt
you sure know how to suck em in, Rosenberg, you idiot
"Angel, forget I said that. The last
thing I want is for you to sleep with me because I made you feel guilty
maybe we should both forget that this night ever happened
"I cant forget this night ever
I dont want to. And neither do you
"Oh yes, I do
This is pathetic.
You show up and Im reduced to begging you to sleep with me. Could this be anymore
"Willow, stop it!"
Willow stopped rambling as Angels
harsh tone cut through the air.
"You are not pathetic
the one thats been lurking on your balcony for five years. What could be more
pathetic than that? I stand outside your doors watching you, wanting nothing more than to
be able to come inside, and see you, and that dazzling smile of yours, and feel the love
and acceptance that youve always shown me
the love and acceptance that no one
has ever shown me except you
"You did know! You liar! Youve
been acting like its such a shock to you, and you just said it yourself. You knew
that I loved you!"
"Willow, not that kind of love
the friendship kind of love. Youve always given that to me
no matter what,
back when Buffy first came to the Hellmouth
since the first day you met me,
youve trusted me, and youve accepted me for what I am, and you never
questioned it, not once, and God knows, Ive given you plenty of reasons to take that
back. Jesus, you invited me into your house tonight without a moments hesitation. No
one has ever done that before
no one thats ever known what I am, anyway
And now youre asking for the ultimate
you want me to make love to you. Willow,
that you would even consider allowing me to get that close to
you, to allow me to touch you in that way, to bless me with that gift
too much for you to give me. I dont deserve it
I want it, Willow
than anything, but I just dont deserve it. I dont even deserve your
friendship, much less your love
"You are way too into self-flagellation. If I want you, and you want me, why
cant we just accept that, and go with it? I dont give a damn about what
happens tomorrow. The only thing thats important to me right now is the fact that
you are here, and youre my friend, and I love you and want to be as close to you as
I possibly can. For once, cant you just act on impulse and be with me?"
"I acted on impulse with Buffy, and
look what happened
"But you know as well as I do that
cant happen again. Dont hide behind that curse as an excuse. Do you want
"I do, Willow
I want you
Willow scooted closer to him on the couch
until their legs were touching.
"Angel, do you want me?"
She leaned her face in closer to his, her
eyes peering into his soul.
I want you
"Then make love to me
voice was growing softer with each word.
She pressed her lips to his, throwing
herself into the kiss, until he gave in to her. He pulled away, shaking his head slowly, a
small smile playing on his lips. He scooped her into his arms, rising from the couch.
"To Hell with the rest of the world,
tonight, its just you and me
"Do you need an invitation into the
bedroom, too?" she giggled.
Throwing his head back in an easy laugh,
"I dont need anything but you."
He carried her into the bedroom, and tossed
her on the bed, pausing only to remove his leather jacket before jumping on top of her,
his knees resting on the bed as he straddled her body.
"Have you done this before,
She offered him a seductive smirk, "Im not that innocent, Angel. I do have a
experience under my belt
Angel laughed again, and began unbuckling
the leather strap laced through the loops of her jeans, "Under your belt,
He whipped the belt through the loops and
tossed it aside. Slowly he popped open the button fly on her jeans and pulled her shirt
loose, before reaching up to casually begin unbuttoning it. He spread the shirt open and
paused to admire the woman lying beneath him.
She was nearly breathless with anticipation
as he leaned over to kiss her, prying her eager mouth open with his tongue, relishing in
the fire hidden just beneath the surface of his red-haired beauty. His hands rested
lightly on her hips, sliding up to massage her flat stomach before moving further along to
cup her breasts. Through the silk material of her bra, he slowly kneaded her in his hands,
softly pinching her hardening nipples between his fingers.
Willow moaned against his mouth, and he
became painfully aware of the erection pressing against his own jeans. He pulled her up
into his arms and pushed her shirt back off of her shoulders. She allowed it to slide
easily from her body. He slid one bra strap off of her shoulder, following its path with
his tongue. As he freed one of her breasts, the cold air, followed by Angels cold
hand sent a jolt of energy through her body, causing her to arch against his body,
pressing her pelvis against his. Willow felt his hardness pressing against her, and began
fumbling with the buttons on his jeans.
Gingerly sliding a hand underneath his tee shirt, she came in contact with the smooth,
cool skin of his stomach. She slid her hand underneath the elastic band of his boxers,
wrapping her fingers around his manhood. Angel jumped in her hand, growing harder by the
second. Willow pulled him free from the confines of his pants and massaged his length.
As she continued her beautiful torment,
Angel cupped her face in his hands, kissing her with all his worth, his tongue plunging
into the depths of her wet, eager mouth giving her a small hint of things to come.
"Angel?" she whimpered against
When he ignored her, continuing his assault
on her lips, she asked again, "Angel?"
"What? Whats wrong?" he
Angel laughed and pulled his tee shirt over
his head, tossing it to the floor. He stood from the bed and kicked off his black leather
boots before slowly removing his jeans, teasing her. Willow reached around behind herself
to release the clasp on her bra.
Angel startled her by jumping on the bed and grabbing her hand away.
"No, let me
He pushed Willow back against the bed,
pinning her hands above her head with one hand as the other traced its way along her body,
slowly, tortuously, gliding along her arm, and across her chest, blazing a trail between
her breasts, and down her stomach. He tugged at her jeans as she lifted her hips to allow
him to slide them off of her body. He threw them into the growing pile on the floor, and
joined Willow on the bed, lying beside her. In one swift move, he flipped her over onto
her stomach. Planting small wet kisses along her shoulder blades, he unhooked her bra,
kissing every inch of her skin.
Sliding his hands along her body, his hands came to rest upon her hips. Caressing her
small body, he moved down to knead her long legs. Willow sighed contentedly as all signs
of tension began to leave her body.
"My intention is *not* to make you
fall asleep, Will
" he whispered, beginning to massage her inner thighs.
Willows stomach jumped in response to
Angels hands moving closer to her core. Almost unconsciously, she spread her legs
further apart. Angels fingers dipped between her legs, coming in contact with the
hot, wetness beginning to seep through her silk panties. Suddenly, he plunged one finger
between the innermost folds of her labia, forcing the silky material into her shuddering
Willow bit down on her lower lip,
desperately trying to fight back the intense feelings that Angel was causing to wash over
her body. The tenuous grip on reality that she had was slipping away. She didnt want
to let the vampire know how badly she wanted him, needed him, after all these years.
But her wetness betrayed her. Angel leaned
into her ear, growling lightly, "Willow, you cant hide from me
" he told her, continuing to plunge his finger slowly inside her.
"Tell me what you want
continued to coo into her ear, "I can make this take all night
Tell me how you
want me to touch you
Willow lost the minute grip she had on her
control, and began to murmur softly against her pillow.
"I cant hear you,
" Angel teased her, his voice wavering slightly behind his growl as
his own feelings of desire began to plague him, "Get your face out of that pillow,
and tell me what you want me to do to you
Moving her thighs further apart, Willow
arched her back, lifting her bottom off the bed, trying to force Angels finger
further inside her.
"I cant hear you," he
continued to torment her, slowing the actions of his single finger, refusing to give her
more than he already was until Willow gave in to his instructions.
" her voice was
still muffled by the pillow.
Suddenly, Angel removed his finger from her
core, and flipped her over onto her back.
Wild-eyed, confused, Willow glared into the
face of a very amused, aroused Angel. Kneeling on the bed, he sank back onto his heels,
and, with an evil smirk, he let his tongue slide out of his mouth, and began to lick her
juices off his finger, relishing the tastes like a small boy with an ice cream cone.
Seeing his vulgar display, Willow lost it,
complying with his cruel wishes.
"I want you inside of me,
"Not good enough, Willow
he snickered, "I know you have a better vocabulary than that
" Willow gritted her
teeth, watched as he sucked his entire finger into his mouth, before removing the digit,
smacking his lips together.
"Damn you, Angel
"I want you to
you can say
The demon couldnt take control again,
but she knew that it still lurked beneath his surface. It didnt scare her, it
excited her, and she knew it excited him.
"Fuck me, Angel
growled at him, growing hotter and wetter by the second.
"Thats more like it
Angel fell across her body, allowing her
the contact she desperately desired. Willows eyelids fluttered shut, her chest
rising and falling with each labored breath. His fingers began tracing a line around the
soft, underside of her breasts, teasing her. His mouth closed around one of her nipples,
his teeth tenderly clamped down of the hard little nub before using breath that he
didnt need and sucking it hard into his mouth.
Willow gasped, clutching onto his back, her nails digging into his cool, hard skin.
Removing his mouth from her breast, he roughly squeezed both of her orbs in his hands.
"No intercourse just yet, Willow
there are so many other ways that I can please you
He moved his way down her body, kissing a
trail from her breasts to her stomach, stopping at the edge of her panties. Willow lifted
her hips off the bed, allowing Angel to easily finishing stripping her. He kneeled between
her legs, using his hands to push her knees further apart. Willow was now completely naked
lying on the bed, her knees in the air, as Angel sat back on his heels to admire this
woman in front of him.
why are you staring at
me?" She shifted uncomfortably beneath his gaze.
"Dont be embarrassed in front of
me, Tinkerbell," he admonished her with a twinkle in his eyes, "You are
extraordinarily beautiful. Im just admiring what an incredible woman youve
He placed his hands on her knees, squeezing
gently, before sliding them up her thighs. Using his thumbs, the carefully spread her
outer lips, exposing all of her innermost secrets to him. Using one hand to hold her open,
his other thumb began to rub small circles just inside her tender folds. Refusing to
remove his eyes from hers, he watched her face begin to contort with moans of pleasure.
She was growing closer, and closer to her orgasm with each caress of his thumb.
Quickly dipping his head between her legs,
his mouth completely covered her vagina, and he plunged his tongue deep inside her.
Willow bucked underneath him, crying out,
as the waves of her orgasm crashed over her. Angel continued to torture her with his
tongue, lapping up every drop of her juices as the ripples of ecstasy began to subside.
Angel moved back up to lie beside her,
gathering her in his arms. He kissed her passionately, allowing her to taste herself on
"Thank you, Angel
"Dont thank me yet
Im far from finished with you," he chuckled softly against her hair, "I
just thought Id give you a minute to recover."
"Thats very kind of you
being a vampire and all," she taunted.
"A vampire AND a gentleman
Angel shifted beside her on the bed, his
own feelings of desire bubbling to the surface. Willow smiled to herself, knowing Angel
needed his own release. Almost casually, she pushed him over onto his back, allowing her
hands to easily glide across his hard chest. Nuzzling against his neck, she opened her
mouth, wetly suckling the tender, cool skin of his throat. Angel moaned loudly, inciting
Willow to increase the pressure against his jugular. Knowing full well from years of
studying vampires that they prone to oral fetishes, both from being on the giving end as
well as the receiving, she bit down hard, not drawing blood, but hard enough to leave deep
teeth marks and a glorious, painful bruise that she knew would be gone in minutes.
Angel screamed out, shocked and completely
aroused by his formerly timid Willows dangerous action. Forcing himself back into
control, he roughly grabbed her face, pulling it to his own, demanding that her eyes meet
"Dont do that,
"You liked it, didnt you? That
scream wasnt because you hated what I did
"I didnt hate it
dont understand how closely youve come to making this a very deadly game for
"You could never hurt me
"Willow," he glared at her with
his dark, piercing eyes, "You dont know what Im capable of
dont know what Im capable of."
Willow tried to pull out of his grasp.
"If we cross that line, you may not
make it back, Willow. I love you too much to allow that to happen
Embarrassed by the anger that she had
evoked from him, she squirmed away.
He rolled over on top of her, pinning her arms above her head as she scrambled to get
Im not mad at you. I
still want you very, very badly," For emphasis, he ground his pelvis against her,
showing her the hard evidence of his desire.
"I dont need that type of
foreplay to make love to you. I can, and will, and want to make you come over and over and
over again. I am burning up for you
you know that, right? You know how badly I want
you, dont you
"I-I just want you to feel what
"I do, Willow
I dont need
bloodshed to reach orgasm. I just need you."
Angel kissed Willow roughly, his tongue
invading her mouth before she could reply. He released his grip on her hands and they
immediately fell to his waist, hugging him tightly against her. Crushing his hips against
her small body, she instinctively wrapped her legs around his thighs. Through his soft,
black cotton boxers, she could feel his hardness pressing against her fiery, drenched
core. Mimicking the actions to follow, he thrust against her, teasing her with his blade.
Her hands glided to his hips, pushing the
boxers down over his tight behind. When they refused to move any further, she lifted
herself up onto her elbows trying to see why.
"Theyre hung up, Tinkerbell
" The delightful twinkle had returned to
his eyes, replacing the dark glare from before.
Willow giggled as Angel stood from the bed,
removing the last vestiges of his clothing. He quickly climbed back onto the bed with his
Willow. Once again kneeling between her legs, he draped himself over her body, his face
hovering inches above hers. He kissed her forehead, her eyelids, and her cheeks. He
lowered his head slightly and kissed her exposed throat, savoring the pulsing of the hot
blood coursing just below the surface. He kissed her delicate chin before crushing his
swollen lips against hers.
"My Willow," he murmured against
In a lofty show of his manliness, he thrust
his pelvis against her, sliding his penis along her wet slit, refusing to enter her until
he was ready, and until she was begging.
" The murmur
turned into a deep, bestial growl.
writhed on the bed beneath him, pleading with him to take her.
"What to you want, Willow?" he
"You, Angel!" she howled the
words, feeling the moisture from her between her legs seeping onto the sheets below her.
He bruised her lips with his own once
"Me what?" he asked.
"I want you inside of me," she
cried through her clenched teeth, "I want you inside of me right now,
Abandoning his torment, Angel lowered his
hand between their two bodies and quickly plunged two fingers into her weeping center.
Drawing the moisture from her body, he grasped his penis in his strong hand and lubricated
himself with her nectar, before guiding the tip to her entrance.
He slid himself inside a couple of inches
before pausing to lower himself over her body, supporting his weight on his hands, not
allowing himself to fall on top of her so that he could watch her body underneath him.
With small, intense thrusts he began moving
inside her, pulling out before slipping further inside of her, teasing her.
"Angel, damn it, cut that
" Willow begged.
Shifting his weight onto his elbows, he
thrust inside her with his full length, forcing a cry out of Willow that rocked Angel to
Abandoning all thoughts of taking it any
more slowly than he had, Angel began to thrust inside her with everything that he was
worth. Willow wrapped her legs tightly around his body, her hips rising off the bed to
meet his. His hands found hers, and their fingers intertwined, desperately clutching
together. The penetration grew more urgent as his orgasm neared.
Suddenly, he held back, slowing the pace
ever so slightly, knowing that this time, Willow wouldnt object. The initial urgency
passed, Willow having already enjoyed her first climax, in no rush for her second, and
Angel, with incredible vampiric patience, prolonging the experience, and they developed an
easy rhythm. Angel thrust deep inside her body, incoherent words of love falling from his
lips as she writhed in joy beneath him.
Angels soul wouldnt allow him
to rush this for Willow. Every time he felt his climax growing near, he forced the
feelings back, enjoying Willow, letting her control the pace. For her part, she blissfully
lost herself in Angel. In her mind, they werent two separate beings, they were one.
What Angel felt, she felt. If she died at that moment, she knew that she would have no
Their lovemaking continued, Angel
maintaining his delicious torment of her body. Willow slowly felt her orgasm growing as he
slightly quickened his thrusts, sensing Willows swelling need. Angel felt as if he
continued to grow inside of her, his desire blinding as beads of unearthly sweat formed on
his brow. Willows silent anguish began to spill from her lipsas she grew
closer to her climax, she grew louder, driving Angel crazy as the formerly quiet, shy
hacker began moaning underneath him. He untangled his fingers from one of her hands and
lowered it between their two bodies.
Resting in the soft, red nest of curls, his thumb located the sensitive nub of her
clitoris, and rubbed fiercely, drawing her orgasm out of her, continuing to thrust deep
inside of her womb, the pace increasing as his own orgasm began to rumble deep in the pit
of his stomach. He couldnt believe the amazing amount of wetness he found. Willow
was on fire as she ruptured. She screamed, clawing at his chest, lost, trembling violently
underneath her lover. Her body convulsed, bucking hard against Angel, grinding herself
against him. Angel lost his battle with his own body and he brutally began thrusting
inside her body with inhuman speed. Willows own orgasm seemed to last forever,
driving Angel further into his oblivion. With one last violent thrust, a primal scream
tore from his throat as his orgasm tore through his body, firing into the depths of
Willows spent body.
Willow held him tighter between her
quivering legs, milking him as his thrusts slowed, then stopped, with a final, feral cry.
He fell on top of her, exhausted. For all his vampiric strength, his Willow had taken him
to the edge and beyond. Willow snaked her arms around his waist, hugging him to her body,
their glistening sweat forming a sticky barrier between their bodies.
After a few moments of breath catching,
Angel pulled himself up to look into her eyes. He smoothed a few strands of damp hair out
of her face.
"You are incredible, Tinkerbell,"
he said with a slow, sensual smirk.
"Not so bad yourself, for an old
" Her breaths were beginning to slow as she regained control of her senses.
He carefully lifted her chin to seize her
lips with his own. A slow, tender loving kiss followed, deepening as the two new lovers
sought to show the other the intensity of their feelings, as her hands caressed the small
of his back, drifting downwards to glide across his buttocks.
" he purred, pulling
back, "Youre going to stir up trouble all over again, young lady
"You can recharge that quickly?"
she inquired, a hopeful gleam in her eye.
Angel laughed, his dark eyes continuing to twinkle in a way that she had never seen
before, "Not that quickly, dearest
"Like I could move, anyway
hundred fifty years of practice has taught you well, grasshopper
"Practice has nothing to do with
it was all you. I wanted to make this experience something you wont soon
" he caressed the side of her face with his fingers.
"Soon forget? Angel, Ill never
forget this night
ever," she stated emphatically, "I love you."
"And I, you, Willow."
Angel rolled over to recline next to her on
< Snuggles or no snuggles? > Willow
thought to herself. < Is he a roll-over-and-go-to-sleep guy? >
As if hearing her voice inside his head, he
extended his hand to her, beckoning her into his arms.
"Cmere," he instructed.
Willow obediently settled into his arms,
her head resting on his strong shoulder. She sighed happily, as his fingers gently tickled
Gradually, the soft strumming of his
fingers sent her blissfully drifting off into sleep.
She awoke with a start.
It had been a dream, hadnt it? Angel
hadnt really shown up on her balcony and make love to her.
He had, and his arms were still wrapped
He felt her jump as she awakened, and
instinctively held her tighter.
"Hey, sleepyhead," he greeted her
with a kiss on the top of her head.
how long have I been
"Just an hour or so
go back to
sleep, Tinkerbell. I told you that Im not going anywhere, and I wont."
"The sunlight, Angel
and you have one
tiny window in this bedroom that Ive already covered up. Im not going to turn
to dust on you."
Willow stretched, spreading out beside him,
"I dont want to sleep anymore. Ill sleep during the day with you."
"Do you sleep at night ever? Watching
you over the years, no matter what time of night I came to see you, youve always
"Force of habit? Sleeping during the
day is safe
sleeping at night leaves yourself vulnerable."
Angel sighed, "Willow, I wish you had
never had to learn the things you know. I wish you had been able to live your whole life
without knowing the evil that lurks among us."
Angel, that would have
meant never knowing Buffy, and Giles
and you. Buffy taught me so much. All my life,
I was an outcast. I was the kid in school that the other kids teased. Xander and Jesse
were my only friends, and they were considered just as weird as me. Buffy made me realize
that there is nothing wrong with being left of center. Buffy was one of the first people
that loved me for being me
he was such an incredible influence on
me. He treated me like an adult, even when I was nothing more than a child. Giles refused
to accept my insecurities, and showed me that intelligence was something to be proud of.
God, even Cordelia, my most-hated tormentor, became one of my closest and dearest friends.
Having that love, that acceptance from my friends gave me the confidence and courage I
needed to grow up. And you
Angel, youve changed my life in so many ways, some
bad, some good
I wouldnt change any of it."
"Willow, what did any of us ever do to
deserve you?" Angel asked tenderly, "You gave all of us so much more than we
ever gave you. I have no doubt that Buffy wouldnt be alive right now if it
werent for your friendship. Slayers dont live long
Buffy has made it far
longer than any of the others. You are responsible for that, in a big way. Most slayers
dont have much to live for, outside of slaying. Her friends, and her family, have
given her something else to fight for, a more personal reason to stay alive. I still care
I always will, and I thank you for keeping her alive
"Angel, Im not
Im not finished.
Jenny lived on in you. Buffy was Giles charge, but you were the one that he was most
proud of. Jennys protégé. You carried on the work that she was doing, and I know
that every time Giles saw you, he saw a little bit of Jenny. You helped him through the
pain I caused him more than youll ever know
Tears began to stream down Willows
face, and Angel quickly kissed them away.
Willow, we really need
to talk about what you did for me
"Angel, we dont have
" she sniffled.
"Yes, we do. I need you to talk to me
about what happened. You need to talk about it
and I need to talk to you. It seems
so long ago, doesnt it?"
Willow simply nodded her head in agreement,
the tears still falling down her cheeks.
"I shouldve been there,
of all the things I regret in my life, leaving you to deal with what happened
in Hell all by yourself is the biggest mistake I ever made."
"Youre right, Angel," she
hissed through her tears, "You should have been there. I needed you."
"Im so sorry."
He took her in his arms and let her cry,
knowing that these were tears that she should have been allowed to shed with him years
ago. The quiet tears grew into a wail, as years of pent-up fears and anger swallowed her.
Angel could only rock her in his arms, softly smoothing her hair.
Gradually, her sobs subsided, and he
"You got me out of Hell. I cant
believe I never realized the love that it must have taken for you to be able to do that.
Youre the strongest person I know, stronger than Buffy, and much stronger than me. I
dont know if I could have done what you did
no matter how much love I
"I needed you," she repeated.
"How could you let me down like that? I know that you wanted to die for the things
that Angelus did, but that wasnt you, Angel. THAT WASNT YOU! But it was you
that left me behind, it was you that never once came to me to tell me that you, at the
very least, knew the sacrifices that I had made to help you. That you at least understood
what I had been through."
She pulled herself out of his arms, and
jumped out of the bed, pulling the sheet with her, wrapping it around her naked body.
"NO! No, Angel, just SHUT UP! For FIVE
years, Ive had no one to talk to about this. I couldnt share what I had done
with ANYBODY! I rescued you from Hell and you disappeared! I never told anyone that I
brought you back! ANYONE! Not Buffy, not Giles, not Xander! Ive kept this all inside
for YEARS, and you want to tell me that you know how I feel?" She was wailing again,
with great sobs that wreaked her entire body.
"Nobody but me EVER knew that you were
alive! I couldnt tell Buffy!" She was crying so hard that she could barely
breath, but she was somehow managing to spit the words at him. "How could I tell
Buffy that I brought you back only to have you disappear! HOW? I was so ashamed and
I had done this thing, and you left. How could you do that to me?"
Her despair took over her entire body, and
she fell to the floor, unable to support herself any longer. Her grief, and her anger
became too much to bear.
Angel sat on the bed, in shock, not knowing how to handle this outburst. His heart was
breaking. He had damaged her far worse than he had ever imagined.
He leapt from the bed and attempted to
cradle her in his arms, blood tears streaming down his own face.
"NO, damn you
touch me!" she gasped for breath, "DONT YOU DARE!"
pleaded, "Please let me help you now. I know its too little, far too late, but
please let me help you with this. Tell me how I can make this better!"
THIS IS ALL YOUR
FAULT!" she screamed at him, gulping for air.
"Youre right, Willow, this is
all my fault."
He took her shoulders in his grasp, and
shook her violently. Her head fell forward as if her neck had snapped, unable to hold it
up any longer.
"Its all my fault, Willow, and
but Im not leaving you now. Yell and scream and hit me if you
have to, but Im not leaving you."
Willow fell forward into his arms, allowing
him to hold her in a harsh embrace.
"Im not leaving you, Willow,
Im not," he whispered over and over into her ear.
"Im not leaving you
Sitting in the floor, in his arms, she
cried herself to sleep. Angel lifted her from the floor, and tucked her into the bed.
Angel needed to think. The sun was beginning to rise, and Angel knew that he was now
trapped in this bedroom until sunset. Sinking into a dark corner, he held his head in his
hands and cried softly, not wanting to wake the sleeping Willow.
He thought back over the past five years
since Willow had rescued him. Rescued in more ways than one. First was the incredible
restoring of his soul. Willow had attempted the ritual twice, the first time failing
miserably as Angeluss peons and Dru had almost killed her. < Angelus, not
The second time, she succeeded. Just a few
minutes too late, but she couldnt help that. After the damage he inflicted the first
time, she shouldnt have even tried it again. But, in studying the curse for the
second attempt, she had uncovered its flaw. She found the way to restore his soul
permanently. Thanks to the shy, young, quiet hacker, the demon would never again have
control of his soul. And, lastly, but certainly not least, she had launched her pure,
innocent soul into Hell to rescue him. She had no idea what awaited her, no idea the pain
it could cause, or the damage that could be done.
She not only rescued him from Hell, she
rescued his faith in humanity. One little person. One tiny little redhead with her head in
the clouds and enough enthusiasm to fill the universe. Little Willow that had been teased,
and pushed around, and make fun of all her life had done something that no one else in the
history of the world had ever done, could ever do. And she had done it all by herself, and
kept the secret all by herself.
Angel damned himself a thousand times for what he did to her. She hadnt done it
expecting his gratitude, his undying love, or even his thanks. She could never be that
selfish. That wasnt Willow. She had very simply done it out of love. Not for love,
but out of love. Because she loved him, a love so simple and pure that she hadnt
even thought about the consequences of seeing Hell before she did it.
He had never shown her his appreciation,
never shown her what it meant to him. He hadnt forgotten, he hadnt overlooked
the great sacrifice she made. He had thought about it over the years, analyzed it,
dissected it, and he had known that she did it out of love. But not love for him, love for
her best friend Buffy. He had foolishly thought that Willow did it to bring him back to
Buffy. Why he had never considered the possibility that she truly loved him, he
didnt know. She loved Xander, she loved Oz. Loved Angel? The thought never seriously
crossed his mind.
He felt that he had been a study in
selfishness. Even if he had never considered her feelings for him, he should have
considered what she was going through.
But he had disappeared, closed himself off to those around him, those that had been his
friends. He had felt a sense of duty to all of them. Buffy, and Giles were all right on
there own, wherever that was. He had fooled himself into thinking that all he needed to do
was check on their physical well being. He never stopped to consider the emotional damage
that had been done to all of them. Xander, Willow, and Cordelia were safe in college.
Vampires could hover closely, but couldnt allow the kill. Missing college kids would
stir up too much trouble, draw too much attention. So, Angel knew, as long as they were
still in school, and living well within the confines of the college campuses, they would
be fine. Oz, he worried about. He, too, was in Los Angeles with Xander and Cordelia,
although not associating with them very often. He was playing with a band, hanging out in
dank, dark bars until the wee hours of the morning, exactly the types of places that
vampires love. He was a smart kid, though, not to mention the fact that he was a werewolf.
The vampires stayed away from Oz, and he never went looking for them.
Angel had hated that Willow went so far
away from the rest of them. He had to travel all the way across the country to see her,
moving in dark, dreary boxcars under the cover of night. He had considered joining the
twentieth century and traveling by air, but the risk was too great. Delays, traveling
against the light in a place where he couldnt possibly escape. But he had to check
on little Willow.
She took care of herself, though, as Angel
had seen over the years. She took the necessary precautions. He had watched her enter her
apartment after a night out with friends. She walked in the door, and, almost comically,
had begun withdrawing hidden stakes from her clothing, a trick she had learned from Buffy.
Opening her purse, she had removed a huge cross, and a water gun that Angel knew had been
filled with holy water. She was fine, he told himself
Just fine. Stupid
he had been so stupid.
Delicate had always been one of the first words to form in his mind when he thought of
Willow. If someone had taken her in their hands and squeezed, he could almost imagine her
disappearing, leaving behind only the crumpled, crushed up petals of some small red
physically weak. But she
had proved him wrong in that respect time and time again. She fought along side Buffy many
times, never showing fear, never backing off. She had be to Hell, and came out without a
Angel mentally berated himself. How could
it have never occurred to him that she might be crumbling on the inside? Maybe he
didnt want to see it. Had he not wanted to feel the responsibility of taking care of
Willow, inside and out? Many times, he felt he couldnt even be responsible for
himself. After Angelus had shown his ugly head again, Angel hadnt felt that he
deserved the love, or the acceptance of anyone. How could he not realize that Willow
needed him? That this delicate flower needed nurturing?
Angel released a pent-up sigh, and stood from his hiding place in the corner. Willow hated
him, and he deserved it. He picked through the pile of clothes on the floor, and began to
get dressed. He couldnt go anywhere. He had promised and he wasnt going to
break any more promises to her. If she hated him, and wanted to stake him, he
wouldnt try to sway her. No more broken promises, spoken or otherwise.
He sat on the edge of her bed, and began to pull on his boots, when he realized Willow was
beginning to stir. Glancing at the clock, he realized that she had been asleep for hours.
It was almost noon. Frozen, he couldnt move, waiting for Willow to make the first
"Angel?" she asked in a timid
His heart broke once again as he realized
what it must have looked like to her to see him sitting dressed, on the edge of her bed.
"Of course not, Willow. I told you I
wasnt, and Im not going to."
"Why are you dressed?" Her voice
betrayed her true feelings
she was still terrified that he was going away from her.
figured that seeing me naked wasnt something youd be particularly interested
in right now." His voice was low and dark, matching his mood.
Willow scooted down to the edge of the bed,
holding the sheet against her body. She timidly laid her body against Angels back,
releasing a long sigh.
"Angel, Im sorry
"What on earth are you sorry for
Im the bastard that hurt you so bad
"Angel, Im really, really over
"No, youre not
pretty obvious, Willow."
"You surprised me
this has been
a pretty eventful past few hours."
"That it has
"Seriously, Angel, Im sorry I
lost it. I was angry with you, and I was hurt, and I guess I just had some things that I
needed to say. I wish I had had more time to think about it
"You said exactly what you meant to
say, and exactly what you needed to say
I deserved hearing all of it, and probably
Willow pulled herself away from Angel, and
he turned on the bed to gaze at her, lingering, brushing her red hair away from her face.
"What now, Willow? Where do we go from
"No more deep discussions for now, OK?
You need to sleep
I need more sleep
maybe, later, we could
Angel laughed, knowing what her
"Tinkerbell, we can um all you
She climbed back towards her pillow,
nestling into the comfort of the covers. Angel walked around the side of the bed and
started to lie down beside her.
"Wouldnt you be more comfortable
without all those clothes?"
Angel quickly pulled his tee shirt back
over his head and removed his jeans. Wearing only his boxers, he climbed into the bed
beside her. Willow turned her back to him, lying on her side. He snuggled in beside her,
spooning her with his body. Her fingers entwined with his, holding them to her heart, and
Angel awoke hours later to an empty bed.
Long past sunset, he found Willow in the kitchen, at the table eating a bowl of cereal.
Her long legs were kicked up on the table, as she sat with a pensive look upon her face.
Angel knew she was pondering the events of the past day, and he wondered if she was angry
with him again, realizing the monster that she had invited into her bedroom, or if she was
his Willow, his Tinkerbell, that loved him despite the pain he had caused. She was wearing
only a long tee shirt that had risen a few inches beyond decency as she shifted her legs.
Angels mind, while contemplating her emotional state of being, appreciated her
physical state of being.
He cleared his throat, alerting her to his presence.
"Sleep well?" she asked, a small
grin playing on her lips.
"Like a baby
"Why do people say that?" She
scrunched her nose at him. "Babies fuss and cry all night long
He put his arms around her, hugging her
back to his chest, relieved that she didnt appear to be sorry for anything that had
"I slept very well in your
are you hungry?"
Met with Angels silence, she realized
what she had asked.
"OK, so that was a stupid
"I am hungry, Willow. It wasnt a
stupid question. I-I
damn. I need to feed
Startled, she asked, "You
"No, of course not
still the same old Angel."
"Angel, what do you drink? I mean,
Buffy never told me, and I never asked, and its really none of my business, is
it?" She blurted at him.
"Willow, Im going to do
something that Ive never done in front of anyone else, ever. Not even Buffy
I mean, she knew
but I could never do it in front of her
"What, Angel?" She was confused.
I hadnt planned on
staying here this long
I need to make a call. Can I use your phone?"
"Yes, of course."
Willow watched Angel pick up the phone and
dial a number from memory. After a few moments of hushed conversation, he hung up the
phone, and sat across from her at the table.
"Angel, you just called and ordered
blood like you were ordering a pizza
He chuckled at her comparison.
"Yeah, well, you know
"Its all right, Angel. You have
to eat, too
"When it gets here, would it be OK if
you didnt watch me feed?"
"I thought that you just told me that
you were going to let me see what you had never let anyone else see."
"Willow, its grotesque
change when I feed. I dont want you to see me like that," he stated grimly.
"You put your game face on?"
"I dont exactly put it on,
it just sort of happens."
you dont have to
be embarrassed in front of me. Ive always been curious
I want to watch."
please, Willow. Let me be
alone when I do this."
Willow didnt answer him, and
continued eating her cereal.
"Willow? Cmon, dont be mad
You dont seriously want to watch me drink blood, do you? I mean, why?
Why would you want to see something that disgusting?"
"Do you find it gross that Im
sitting here eating this?" she shoved the bowl under his nose, "I know you find
this disgusting and unnatural, yet youre sitting here talking to me as if its
the most natural thing on Earth
"Its a little different,
I used to eat food, too, you know
I still can, if need be. Watching you
eat food is not unnatural to me. Drinking blood is unnatural
250 years. I dont want you to see that."
I just want
you to feel comfortable around me
I dont want you to feel that you have to
hide anything from me. I know what you are, and I except that, and I love you. I love all
of you, demon and all
"You do NOT love the demon. Dont
ever forget what Angelus did. Angelus may never be able to gain control again, but
hes still inside of me. I thought that you learned that when you bit me."
"When I bit you, Angel remained firmly
the only time that I saw any sign of Angelus was when you wanted me to
talk dirty to you
"How do you know that Angel
doesnt have a kinky side?" he asked with a smirk.
"Whatever, it was very Angelus-like.
And, you know what? I liked it, it turned me on. I may not be real comfortable with that
sort of stuff
but that doesnt mean that I didnt enjoy the
effect that it had on me
Angel hadnt been ready to admit to
Willow that he had a dark side when it came to sex. The love that he had made to Willow
was beautiful and perfect, and he wouldnt change one single second of it, but Angel
also had a desire to play, sometimes, and sometimes when he played, it could become a
little rough. Angel hadnt had a chance to think about this with Willow
hadnt had a chance to think about anything with Willow. Rough sex? Willow, kinky?
She seemed so innocent to him, no matter that she was already sexually experienced before
Angel. He strongly suspected that the previous evening had been the first time anyone had
really made love to her, and he wasnt about to shock her by showing her his deviant
"Angel, Im not saying that I
want you to tie me up and spank me
but Im not opposed to the
idea of exploring different things with you
"Willow Rosenberg, you are making me
Just then there was a knock on the door.
"That was quick," Willow said.
"Vampires are quick
and let me handle this."
"You invited a vampire to my
home?" Willow blurted.
"Im not inviting him in
you dont need to worry."
Angel went to the door, returning a few
minutes later holding a small cooler.
"Willow, Id really prefer it if
you didnt watch me do this
"Angel, after the things we did
together, I cant believe youre turning shy on me now."
Angel sighed, and asked her for a glass.
She gave it to him, and watched as he opened the cooler and pulled out a packet of blood.
He carefully ripped the bottom open, and let the red liquid run into the glass.
He popped the glass in her microwave, and turned it on low power for a minute.
He turned to study Willow, who had been
intently studying Angels actions. He had a grim look on his face
that he really didnt want her to watch him feed.
Ill be in the
living room when youre finished
"I thought that you wanted to
watch?" he asked.
who am I to
insist on watching you do something that you keep so private?"
its not that
Im trying to hide something from you
its not very
pleasant to watch."
The microwave beeped, signaling the end of
the warming. Willow stood and left the room.
A few minutes later, Angel joined Willow.
Now that he had fed, he felt energized, renewed. Willow hadnt even noticed him enter
he slunk in like a panther. She was reclining on the couch, her legs
stretched across the cushions. Startled, she jumped when she realized Angel was standing
next to the couch, a gleam in his eyes.
"So, do you do that on purpose?"
"That thing with your legs
stretching them out all naked and long like that
You were doing it at the kitchen
"Like it?" Her green eyes shone
seductively under her lashes as she flashed Angel one of her brightest smiles.
" He picked up her
legs and sat on the couch with her, draping her legs across his lap.
He began caressing her legs, massaging her calves, in his strong hands. Willow groaned,
arching her legs in his hands.
" she moaned.
"You," he said, "have
He moved his hands to her feet, taking one
small foot in his hands. He kneaded it, bringing the foot to his mouth. He slowly sucked
her pinkie toe in his mouth, at the same time running his hand swiftly along the length of
her calf up to her thigh.
The action sent a wave of heat rushing through Willows body, and she could feel the
moisture beginning to penetrate her panties.
Angel grinned up at her, his mouth still
suckling her little toe, before moving to the next one. With the attention given to each
toe, Angels hand continued stroking her leg, moving a little further up before
moving back down, driving Willow mad with desire. She tried to rub her legs together,
trying to give herself some relief from Angels sweet torment, but he was stronger.
His one hand was easily able to spread her legs back apart. Willow whimpered in protest,
desperately needing satisfaction.
Chuckling softly, Angel released his grip on her foot and placed it gently back in his
lap. Willow began caressing his erection through his jeans with her feet. He grasped her
ankles and pushed her feet off his lap and onto the couch so that she was lying on the
couch with her knees in the air.
\He stood from the couch and removed his
jeans, leaving himself naked before Willow. He joined her again, kneeling between her
legs, sitting back on his heels. Again, he grasped one of Willows feet in his hands,
massaging her instep while taking her toes in his mouth. Divine pleasure coursed through
her body as her other foot started massaging his crotch again, this time experiencing
flesh against flesh. Angel moaned, involuntarily thrusting his pelvis forward. His lips
left her toes and began a wet trail along the side of her foot, placing light, feathery
kisses along the arch and her heel before stopping at her ankle, where he nipped at the
delicate bone, and soft skin before continuing his journey. He lifted her leg high in the
air, pausing to trace small, wet circles with his tongue on the back of her knee. Willow
was moaning and whimpering, begging Angel for release.
He dropped her leg to his side, and placed his hands on her hips underneath her tee shirt.
"Are you ready, Tink? Do you want me
now, or should I play a little longer
" she moaned with
labored breaths, "No more waiting
I want you now, Angel
Angel slid her panties down off her hips,
and she raised her legs to aid him. She sat up slightly as he pulled her tee shirt off her
head and tossed it over the back of the couch.
He stretched out over the top of her, relishing in the feeling of their naked flesh
pressed together. As their lips met, Willows arms reached around his back, hugging
him to her, before her fingers danced along his spine, down to his buttocks, where she
caressed his firms cheeks, pressing his body against her own, feeling his hard erection
pressing against her stomach.
Angel lowered himself and entered her in
one quick thrust, lifting her hips off the couch as he did. Willow wrapped her legs around
his body, as her hands caressed the firm muscles of his chest, running her fingertips
across his hard nipples. Angel growled, lowering his mouth to cover hers in a hungry, wet
kiss. He sneaked one hand between their bodies, rubbing her inflamed sphere with his
thumb. Willow thrashed beneath him, her eyes clamped shut as she exploded beneath him.
Feeling Willows release, Angel thrust
deeply and insatiably, releasing his seed into his Willow. Spent, he collapsed on top of
her. Needing no breathe of his own, he delighted in the rise and fall of her chest against
A few minutes later, Angel pulled a blanket
off the back of the couch and they cuddled together underneath it. Willow reclined against
Angels body, absently strumming her fingers along the length of his arm.
"I think you should leave."
"I-I think you need to leave for a
while... to find out what youre really feeling."
"I dont need to go anywhere to
find out how I really feel, Willow. I love you."
"Angel, no. Too much has happened in
the last day. This is all way too sudden. I really want... need... you to go away, and
give yourself time to decide if this is what you really want..."
"Willow," he cut her off,
"This is want I want... I have no doubts, none whatsoever..."
"Impossible. I love you so much, and I
always have... I need to know that you really, really love me... that if I send you away,
you willingly come back to me because you want to."
"Youre crazy. Weve already
wasted too much time..."
"Weve got plenty of time, Angel.
Please, do this for me?"
"Is this want you really want, Willow?
Do you really want me to leave you?"
"Ok..." he replied, kissing the
top of her head.
Fifteen minutes later, he was dressed and
standing by her door saying goodbye.
"How long do you want me to stay away?
An hour, a week?"
"Long enough for you to think about
us, and if this is really what you want."
"I hate this, Tink. Ive been out
of your life for far too long..." he twirled a strand of her red hair between his
She pulled him down for a quick kiss before
pushing him towards the door. Her eyes brimmed over with tears.
"Go now, or Im afraid I
wont let you go at all."
Angel opened his mouth to speak, but she
Willow opened the front door for him. She
stood back, closing her eyes to rub the tears away. When she opened them again, he was
"Damn, I hate it when he does
End Part 1