Sweet
Surrender
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“Willow, are you ever going to talk to me again?” Angel leaned over the library counter to speak to her as she sat behind the computer.
“I’m not not talking to you… I’m just not going to fuck you anymore.”
Angel winced at her choice of words, “We need to talk. Willow, please.”
Willow stopped typing for a moment and studied Angel’s face, almost breathless at his beauty, “We have nothing to talk about, Angel.”
“So that’s it? Just like that? You get a little embarrassed and that’s the end of it? That’s immature, Willow. Something I never pictured you as.”
“Be quiet, Angel… someone is going to hear you!” Willow glared at him, her green eyes flashing.
“There is no one else here. Willow, the things we did together… and you’re embarrassed by feeling a little faint?”
“I don’t have to explain anything to you.”
“You realize that I could carry you out of here right now and there’s nothing you could do to stop me?”
Willow almost fell off her stool, “You wouldn’t. You promised me that you wouldn’t…”
“… hurt you? You started this, Willow. This whole thing was your idea, and I’m not ready to give it up. I made a mistake… I admit it. I shouldn’t have drank from you.”
“You did and it’s over. Now, please, Angel, just drop it,” As she pleaded, the library doors swung open, and Giles and Buffy walked in.
“Hey, guys, what’s up?” Buffy asked.
Willow went back to staring at her computer screen, while Angel walked over to Buffy, planting a kiss on the top of her head, “Nothing, Buffy, nothing at all.”
**********
Friday night at the Bronze
“Dance with me?”
“Angel, no,” Willow stated firmly.
He bent down to whisper in her ear, “Willow, Buffy has been asking me why you and I can barely look at each other. If you refuse to dance with me, she’s going to know something is wrong.”
He offered her his hand, which she reluctantly took, “You’re a bastard.”
“Stop flattering me, little girl. I told you in the library that I’m not ready for this to stop, and I meant it.”
“So I get no choice in the matter?” she asked as he spun her around on the dance floor to a darker corner away from the eyes of Buffy, Xander and Oz.
“You still want me, Willow,” he slid one of his knees between her legs, gently rubbing it against her sex, “I can feel it, and I can smell it, and I can see it in your eyes.”
“Don’t you dare!” she hissed at him, pulling away, “I don’t want to play your games anymore. It was a mistake. You only wanted someone that you could fuck without loving, and I wanted someone to… to…”
“To what, Willow? You still don’t know what you were looking for, do you? We’re not finished… not until I say we are…” Angel turned and disappeared into the crowd, leaving Willow dazed, tears overflowing her green eyes to dribble down her cheeks.
********
Angel made several more attempts to reason with Willow, but she stood firm. Angel had, indeed, thought about carrying her off, but he knew that it would only further destroy the little trust she had in him.
Once again, they found themselves at the library, only this time they weren’t alone. Giles sat in his office, shuffling through some books while Xander was in the stacks with Oz. Buffy and Angel sat at the table together pouring over some long-forgotten manuscript and Willow was at her usual spot behind the computer.
Every few minutes, she would tear her eyes away from the screen to steal a look at Angel. At the moment, he had one arm across the back of Buffy’s chair, gently rubbing her shoulder as they held their heads close together, reading.
He glanced up suddenly, catching Willow watching him, and both froze for a moment. Angel saw something burning there, something in her green depths that told him that she didn’t want their relationship to end anymore than he did. Finally, she pulled her eyes away.
“I need caffeine,” Buffy abruptly announced, pushing back from the table, “Will, you want anything?”
Willow shook her head as Buffy hollered up into the stacks for Oz and Xander’s drink requests before heading out the library doors towards the vending machines.
The library was deathly silent as Angel made his way towards Willow.
“Angel, please… not now. Not tonight,” she hissed quietly, her eyes wide with fear and an emotion that Angel had grown to recognize as the beginnings of her arousal.
“I’m not, Willow. I just wanted to let you know that I’m finished, too. You’ve made your choice very clear, and, while I may not agree with it, I have to respect your wishes. I may have already damaged our friendship beyond repair, but I won’t terrorize you anymore…”
“Terrorize me?” Willow exclaimed, startled by his choice of words, “Angel, I…”
Just then the library doors pushed back open and Buffy strolled in.
“Whatcha talking about, guys?”
“Just checking to see if she’s made any progress,” Angel informed her while Willow spluttered.
Buffy only gave the pair a strange look before settling back down at the table.
**********
//It’s just not fair, dammit! //
Willow’s mind was racing as she paced around her bedroom. She had been severely ticked off at Angel for not keeping his end of the bargain and biting her in her own home. But now, he was being…well he was doing what she asked of him.
//He’s going to leave me alone. That’s what I wanted…isn’t it? //
Willow sunk down on the bed, her head between her hands. No, it wasn’t what she wanted. She was going to have to face the truth. Even when she’d been pissed at Angel, a part of her had secretly hoped that he’d carry her off and do the things to her that made every nerve in her body tingle. It was a control issue. He had *promised * that things would be different in her own home and they hadn’t. He was still the one calling the shots. But, Angel aroused feelings in her that left her powerless to do anything but submit. Sex with Angel was like a drug she constantly craved.
//I wonder if there’s a twelve-step program for Angel addiction? The problem with those things is that you have to want to stop the behavior or you never get better. //
And the thought that Angel believed he was terrorizing her…well, Angel had enough guilt in his life without adding to it with a lie.
Willow rose from the bed and started rummaging through her
closet.
Entering the mansion, Angel let his guard down. Patrolling with Buffy always left him a little on edge. It was good to get home and finally be able to relax a little. But tension seeped back into his body before he’d made it three steps beyond the door’s threshold. Someone was there. Angel headed cautiously towards the bedroom, but soon realized that there was nothing to worry about. He knew it was Willow before he ever entered the room. He leaned against the door jam, taking in the sight of an almost naked Willow propped up against the pillows. The only thing she had on was a small scrap of black silk that might barely pass as panties. He fought the urge to dive on to the bed and cover her with kisses.
His voice was gruff, “I thought we decided it was over. What are you doing here, Willow?”
Willow looked him in the eye when she answered. She had known this wasn’t going to be easy.
“Stalking you?”
Angel fought to control a smile. He was undeniably relieved that Willow was in his bed again, but there were some issues that needed to be dealt with.
“A little while ago you wanted me no where near you, and now you’re practically naked in my bed. Why, Willow?” Angel asked.
Willow looked down at her hands, refusing to meet his eyes now. Her voice was barely above a whisper, “Platypus.”
Angel strode over to the bed and sat beside her, taking her chin in his hands and forcing her to look at him. “Platypus? What do you mean? I told you that I’d leave you alone and I haven’t laid a hand on you. What is this all about?”
Willow jumped when he touched her. It had been so long since they’d had any private contact. “It…it’s my safe word. I’m supposed to use it when you’re hurting me or scaring me. The thought that we couldn’t ever…wouldn’t…it more than scares me, it terrifies me. I can’t bear the thought that I’d never feel the way you make me…I don’t want to stop. Please, Angel?”
Angel’s grasp on her loosened and he caressed her cheek with the back of his hands. “How do I know that you’re over what happened? How do I know that you won’t be running out the door in a few minutes?”
“I’m not over it, exactly. When we’re at my house it has to be my way from now on. But when I’m here…you’re in charge.”
Desire was racing through Angel. He couldn’t wait to put his hands on her body. He needed to be sure; he needed some sort of sign from her. He stood up and moved away from the bed.
“I need to know you’re sure, Willow. I don’t want to have to deal with this again.”
Willow didn’t answer him with words, instead, she rose up on her knees and knelt forward, her arms stretched flat on the bed above her head. She was prostrating herself before him, leaving herself open to his whim. It was an act of trust that neither of them took lightly.
Angel watched her. She didn’t move a muscle except to breathe. The lines of her body were beautiful. Angel quickly shed his clothing and crawled behind her. He already had a throbbing erection, imagining the things they were going to do this night. He ran his hands over her back, smiling at the sigh of relief she let out at his first touch. He fought the urge to plunge into her, instead, asking a question.
“Tell me, Willow. If I bite you now, what would you do?”
Willow shuddered as his fingers reached around her to pinch her nipples. “Probably come.” She hissed the word through her teeth. “But if you’re asking if it’s safe to do, yes.”
Angel’s erection was jutting up against her core, rubbing the scrap of wet silk over her erect clitoris. Willow sobbed with desire as he ran his nails over her back, hard enough to raise welts without drawing blood.
His cock twitching, Angel pushed into her slightly, his tip covered by the silk of her underwear. He fought the urge to rip the barrier from her body and pulled back out, his legs quivering from the effort of his restraint.
In a husky voice, he asked, “What if I don’t want you to come, Willow? You’ve made me wait so long, what if I need you to know how I’ve felt?”
Willow stiffened, unsure of how to answer; scared to death he was going to demand it of her.
“I…I’ll try not to, but I can’t promise.” Her voice was trembling with her need, but she’d do whatever he asked of her.
He raised off of her long enough to rip the panties apart at the crotch. The material now looked somewhat like a garter belt. An image of Willow clad in fishnet hose, a garter and high-heeled boots flashed in his mind. Angel tucked it away, planning for another time.
He leaned back over her, and slid inside. Willow was hot and throbbing, her breath coming in short gasps.
Angel whispered in her ear, “Don’t come, Willow. Not unless I tell you to. If you do, I’m going to walk away and you won’t be allowed back in my bed.
Willow moved her hands, nodding her acquiescence as she bit into her arm. Tears of frustration welled up in her eyes as she fought to stop the sensations coursing through her body. Angel began thrusting, slowly gaining speed as he toyed with her nipples and clitoris. She was quaking beneath him, every nerve ending in her body thrumming.
Angel grabbed her around her waist and leaned backward, drawing them both into an upright position. He moved her up and down on his cock, holding back his orgasm as he felt her struggling against her own. It had been torture not being able to bury himself inside her, to feel her walls clasping around him. But he couldn’t deny her a release.
“Not… yet, Willow.” He could barely form the words.
Willow knew she was going to die if he refused her this. “Bastard!” She spat the words out without thinking.
Angel grabbed her shoulders and pulled her down hard as he thrust up into her. His own voice was trembling when he spoke.
“Nasty word from such a pretty little mouth, Willow. I’ll have to show you a better use for it.”
Morphing, Angel slowly sank his fangs into her shoulder. He mumbled around her soft skin, as he prepared to fill his mouth with her sweetness and her core with his seed.
“Come for me, Willow.”
Willow yelled out his name as she finally let herself go. Flashes of light danced behind her tightly closed eyes as she fell into her long denied orgasm. Angel groaned, his mouth full of her warm blood, and shot into her. It seemed to go on forever, his cock twitching with each spurt.
Finally, slipping out of her, he moved, stretching their legs out on the bed and laying back, his belly against her back as he stroked the hair of the quietly weeping redhead.
Angel showered her with tenderness and kisses as she allowed the tears that had been building for so long to fall. Her tears finally ceased, and she rolled off him and onto her back, searching his eyes for a sign of what was to come.
“Thank you, Willow.”
“For what?”
“Coming here tonight. I know how hard that must have been for you…”
“No harder than the first time I came here.”
Angel rewarded her with one of his warm smiles, “Do you trust me?”
“You already know the answer to that, Angel.”
“Do I? Or is it just that I have something that you need?”
“I’ve gotten very good at denying myself what I need. If I didn’t trust you, I would just go on denying myself.”
Angel searched her green eyes, finding only trust and acceptance in them.
“What now, Willow?”
“Your house… your rules.”
Angel nodded, his dark eyes grower darker with lust.
“I want to come again, Willow.”
She started to spread herself to him, waiting for him to make his move.
“No, Willow… not like that. I want you to make me come.”
“Angel, I…” she whispered, bashfully.
“Don’t play shy with me, little girl. You were waiting for me in my bed.”
Willow pulled herself onto her knees as Angel situated himself more comfortably on the pillows, his arms spread wide as he waited to see how she would react. Hesitantly, she reached out to stroke his flaccid cock. Even in it’s softened state, it was still quite impressive, lying nestled in his thick nest of black pubic hair. She lifted it in her hand… this was the first time that she’d ever had the chance to examine him when he wasn’t fully erect. It was heavy in her hand, and still very thick. She watched with amazement as it began to change and grow in her hand.
Lowering her head, she took the tip between her lips, barely suckling him, when Angel gently pushed her head away.
“Willow… not there… not yet. Any woman can give head. I want you to use everything you have to make me come. There are many, many more areas on my body that you need to learn about, many other spots to lick and kiss and caress that can be just as arousing. Explore, Willow.”
Willow opened her mouth to speak, but decided against it when she saw the dangerous look on his face. Carefully, she released her hold on his cock and slid her hand up his chest to his shoulders, roughly palming his nipples as she passed over them. Moving her hands down his arms, she pressed her chest against his, nuzzling her face in his neck. Even without a pulse, she easily located the area just above his jugular and harshly sucked the skin into her mouth, laving the area with her tongue. Angel arched up against her and she moved her mouth away, working her way down his body.
“Angel?”
“Hmm…”
“Would you turn over for me?” she asked, not certain if her giving him orders would be allowed or not.
He arched one eyebrow at her, silently questioning her motives, but did as she wished, rolling over to lie on his stomach. Willow straddled his thighs, rubbing her fingers in small circles across his shoulder blades.
Asking him to turn over had a dual-purpose for Willow. The first was to enable her to explore without his eyes following her every inch of the way. This substantially relaxed her, making her more confident. The second purpose would allow her to attempt something that she had been curious about since their last meeting.
She leaned over his body, raking her nails along his spine followed by her tongue. Her hands came to rest on his taut buttocks, massaging the supple flesh beneath her fingers while her tongue worked it’s way back up his spine to his neck.
Willow lifted herself up to gain better access to his neck and ears, nibbling and sucking. With her hands, she gently pried his cheeks apart, feeling Angel tense beneath her. Mistaking his actions, she immediately moved her hands back to the small of his back.
“No, Willow…” Angel groaned, “Don’t stop… I like it.”
She took a moment to gather herself before hesitantly moving her hands back to his buttocks. She was showering his back and shoulder blades with tiny wet kisses and bites, not breaking the skin, only pinching it between her teeth.
When Willow’s thumb slid across his anus, he bucked back against her, his hard cock pressing painfully into the comforter of his bed.
Encouraged, she repeated the action, pressing a little harder.
Angel was desperately trying to hold himself still, not wanting to frighten her. It was no secret that vampires, by nature of not being human, were bisexual, and Angel was no different. However, in trying to fit into their world, he had squelched any homoerotic feelings that he might have.
He would never seek the attentions of another man. All it meant was that Willow’s actions, while not only accepted and welcomed, aroused him beyond belief. He longed to push himself back against her fingers, but, knowing her nervousness, he didn’t want to frighten or confuse her. He would hold himself back, and allow her to explore and do whatever she felt that she wanted to, whatever she was comfortable with.
He pressed himself against the bed, eagerly anticipating her next move. He genuinely thought that she would abandon what she was doing. Yes, she had surprised him in the shower during their last encounter, but somehow this was different. Before, what she had done had been a spontaneous action. This time, it was planned.
Her tongue was tracing over the soft shell of his ear before she deserted it, moving down his back again. She reached the small of his back, pausing. Unintentionally he encouraged her, slightly lifting his hips to her. She spread his cheeks once again, and pressed her thumb against his tight opening once more. Still trying to remain as still as possible, he jerked in surprise when he felt the wetness of her tongue slide roughly across him.
“Oh, God, Willow… yes,” he hissed, his need growing ten-fold as he rubbed his cock roughly against the comforter.
Emboldened and empowered, she laved her tongue across him again, now holding his hips tightly in her hands.
Moving, she positioned herself between his legs and quietly asked him to lift himself up on his knees. At this moment, she had taken the control from Angel, although she was giving him exactly what he wanted and exactly what he had asked for. Angel was blind with lust now, and would… could refuse her nothing.
Her hand moved around his hips to embrace his cock in her nimble fingers. Stroking him several times, she knew he was drawing close, and she was secretly amazed by the power she had over him.
Not yet satisfied with her positioning, she moved to lie on her back between his legs, her head resting just below his heavy erection. Angel clutched the pillows tightly to his chest, instinctively knowing what his lover had planned for him.
Willow didn’t disappoint as she drew his thick cock between her lips, her tongue teasing the tip. She wrapped her arms around him, embracing him from below as he lowered his hips slightly, allowing her to take him deeper in her mouth.
Her hands pried his cheeks apart again, and Angel fought against his rapidly approaching orgasm, holding back to see what her next move would be. This time, she knew he wouldn’t object as she snaked her index finger into his puckered hole. Angel was lost, murmuring words of amazement and admiration to the redhead that was bringing him closer and closer to what he knew was going to be the most intense orgasm of his life.
She pulled his cock between her lips, suckling the head like a lollypop as the drops of pre-come began to trickle from the tip. She pulled her finger out, before quickly plunging back inside with two fingers. Angel howled, needing his release so badly that it was now painful. Willow’s mouth was stretched wide as she let Angel take over, thrusting uncontrollably down her throat. She curled her two fingers upward, finding Angel’s prostate, vigorously massaging it.
With a final thrust, Angel spilled his seed as Willow continued her ministrations. His orgasm seemed to last forever as he continued with a series of short spasms and thrusts down her tight throat. She swallowed as best she could, his penis buried so deeply that her nose was pressed against his skin. She briefly worried that he would forget that she needed to breathe, but quickly forgot her worries as she concentrated on drawing out his pleasure as long as possible, her trust for him overwhelming her brief fear.
Finally, lifting his hips, he pulled away from her mouth and she removed her fingers from his body. He fell to the bed beside her, his body still tense and shaking from his orgasm, the deepest he had ever experienced. It had seemed to consume his entire body, his soul even.
She pulled herself up beside him, lying on her side. Her green eyes were wide with curiosity as she watched her lover try to regain his composure. He turned his head, meeting her eyes with his, still unable to speak, knowing what he wanted to ask, but not knowing how to put it into the correct words.
After several long minutes, he finally asked her the question he needed the answer to.
“I haven’t taught you that, so who did?”
Willow looked at him in surprise. Surely, he knew… well, maybe not. She considered teasing him a little, but thought better of it. There had been enough anger and misunderstanding in the past few weeks to last her a lifetime.
"Same way I learned about safe words…I'm the net girl, remember?" She smiled as she watched the worry ease from his face. "B…but, why would it matter if I *had * learned it from *someone * instead of something? Just sex, remember?"
Angel closed his eyes. She was right, that's what they'd agreed on. But his ego rebelled at the idea of another man giving and receiving pleasure with her. He opened his eyes and stroked the two small puncture wounds he'd left on her shoulder.
He finally answered her, "It would matter, Willow, because there's a part of me that apparently wants to claim you. I think that's one reason I'm so fond of seeing the marks I leave on your body."
He hesitated when she was silent, then spoke again. "I'm not saying that I expect something more from you, Willow. I'm just saying that it's in my, hell, any *man's * nature to not want their lover going to someone else for satisfaction."
Willow nodded, "I know, I really don't think I'd be too fond of the idea of you replacing me with someone else. It's weird… I *don't * love you, but I hate the idea of you sharing your bed with someone else."
Angel kissed her, his lips barely brushing hers. "Even in a relationship that's just about pleasure and need, there's always going to be emotions involved, often negative ones. We just have to make sure that things don't get so out of hand that it turns ugly. Now…how would you like to play a game?"
Willow's eyes lit up. "Yes! I love games…I used to piss Xander off because I beat him at Risk all the time."
He chuckled, "Not that kind of game, Willow."
Willow blushed, "I *know *. I just meant…. well, I like games, that's all. I have to go to the bathroom first, though."
"That's fine, just wait for me in the living room after you're through. Stand in front of the hearth. *Stand *, Willow, not sit. And you're not allowed to move a muscle."
Willow rose from the bed and headed for the bathroom. She turned at the door.
"What kind of game are we going to play."
"A bastardized version of an old favorite…Marco…"
Willow laughed, "Polo."
Standing with her arms to her side, Willow tried to peer into the inky darkness that enveloped her. She'd never played Marco Polo like this before. Angel had instructed her to stand completely still, no matter what, and under no circumstances was she to touch him or speak before told to. After that, he'd doused the lights and disappeared. That had been about ten minutes ago. At least, Willow thought it had been ten minutes. It was hard to keep track of time when there really wasn't any reference point besides your own wildly spinning imagination.
Angel was enjoying this immensely. He could see her, but she couldn't see him. No breath… no heartbeat gave him away. He was standing within a few feet of her, but he could tell by her rapid breathing that she wasn't sure of his whereabouts. He reached out a hand and ran it over the curve of her abdomen, then stepped quickly away.
Willow gasped aloud. She hoped that little noises like that wouldn't count against her as speaking.
Angel circled her, finally stopping to run his tongue from the base of her spine to her shoulders. Just as abruptly as he'd begun, he stopped and moved with inhuman speed to the other side of the room, speaking as he turned to face the unseeing teenager.
"Do you like this game, Willow? Does it excite you? Answer me."
Willow's knees were shaking with excitement and nervousness at the innate sense of terror the situation presented. She *knew * that Angel wouldn't hurt her, but there was that butterflies in the stomach feeling that didn't care what her logical mind thought. And how was it that he was so far away after having just touched her?
She licked her lips, nervously, "Yes. It excites me."
"Good…it excites me, too."
Within seconds of those words, Angel was touching her again, running his thumb the length of her damp cleft. Once again, he backed off as quickly as he'd asserted himself.
The game continued for awhile, Angel touching a new part of her body each time he drew near her, Willow waiting with bated breath, wondering where his fingers would fall next. There was nothing symmetrical about his onslaught. Sometimes he made her wait five minutes or more before caressing her, other times it was only a matter of a few seconds. One time he would twist the peaks of her erect nipples, the next he'd kiss the back of her knee. With every stroke of his hand, Willow felt herself growing hotter. She didn't dare ask him, but she desperately needed release. The ache in her groin, combined with the tension from waiting for the next contact made her feel as if her knees would buckle.
He hadn't made a sound for nearly an hour, but Angel finally spoke.
"What do you see, Willow. I mean in your mind's eye? Who are we?" Angel took a step closer to her.
Willow gulped, her throat dry, "We…We're Angel and Willow."
Another step closer. This time, Willow could sense he was advancing on her and prayed that he was ready to get on with it.
Angel was slightly annoyed with her answer. She was smarter than that! It didn't help his mood that he had been at full attention for the last half-hour. Every time he laid a hand on her and felt her quiver, a shot of pure electric desire ran through him.
"I know that, Willow. I'm talking about in your imagination. Are you a grand lady who's enjoying a dalliance with a servant? How about a club kid about to screw her favorite pop star? Hmm? Are you a virgin who's submitting to the whim of some nasty pirate from the high seas? Or are you a nurse who's comforting a wounded officer? Tell me, Willow, what do you see?"
Willow could at last tell he was directly in front of her. She cleared her throat.
"Can I touch you if I tell you?"
"Yes, just tell me the truth."
Willow moved her hands in front of her, trying to find him in the ebony darkness. Her hands collided with his forearms, and she drew him to her, standing on her tiptoe and whispering in his ear.
"I already told you. We're Willow and Angel. The reality is better than any fantasy."
The answer more than pleased Angel, it actually moved him. The thought that they were living her fantasies, that he could share them with her, touched him. He wanted nothing more than to please her at that moment.
With a growl, he sank to his knees in front of her, spreading her legs. With a great deal of skill, but not a lot of patience, he began to stroke her throbbing clitoris with his tongue. Willow buried her fingers in his hair, pressing him tightly against her mound. With a quiet gasp, she stiffened and shuddered, her orgasm streaking through her. It was over almost before it began, although it had been intense, it was not what she had been waiting for.
Willow dropped to the floor, pulling Angel over and on top of her. The coldness of the stone beneath her back almost made Angel feel warm by comparison.
"Angel… please…I've got to have you inside me."
Angel was conscious of the rough surface under his knees as he moved between her open thighs. They were both going to be sore tomorrow. He slid into her, marveling at how tight and wet she was. He let her set the pace, following the frantic bucking of her hips in a quick rhythm. Each time she arched up to meet him, it seemed like she pulled his cock in a little further.
Willow was in ecstasy, her body quivering at the feel of him within her walls. Her head thrashed from side to side. Little gasps, the same words over and over, spilled from her lips. "Oh…oh…. Angel."
Fearing that she might actually hurt herself, Angel captured her face in his hands, and brought his mouth down to cover hers, their tongues meeting and clashing. Willow began to keen, her sounds muffled by his mouth, as her walls constricted around his erection. Angel felt his own orgasm hit as hers ended. He groaned, more of protracted grunt, really, as he shot deep inside her.
*****************
“You okay?” Angel asked, wrapping his arms around her small body.
“Mmm hmm,” she murmured.
After recovering from their last encounter, Angel had carried her into his bedroom and onto his bed for some much needed sleep. However, instead of sleeping, they were talking.
“I have so much to show you, to teach you,” he told her, his voice fading out to a careful whisper, “Are you finally starting to realize what you are… how incredible you are?”
“I’m starting to realize that I’m a big pervert that gets off when you hurt me…”
“WILLOW!”
“It’s true, isn’t it?”
“That you’re a pervert? No. If you’re so much the net girl, how come you haven’t realized just how many people there are out there that love doing the same things we do? Maybe we’re the normal ones, and those people that are into so-called normal sex are the real freaks?”
“Do you think Buffy would like what we do…?”
“My house, my rules. We don’t talk about Buffy’s likes and we don’t talk about Oz’s likes.”
“That’s easier said than done. They *are * the two most important people in our lives…”
“Remember what we talked about earlier? Emotions are going to be involved here, whether we want them to or not. It’s up to us to make sure that this remains what it is, and that we don’t allow it to get out of hand.”
“What if we get caught?”
“We’re not going to…”
“This is the Hellmouth, Angel… things happen. Remember Xander and me? Am I… is this… worth the chance we’re taking?”
Angel paused to think about her question. She was right—they could very easily get caught. Buffy, for one, would never hesitate to walk into the mansion without a second thought as to knocking. And, when they were out in public, it was pure Hell for him to keep his hands off of her. Was it worth the chance they were taking?
He thought back over the events of the previous weeks and the nights that they had spent together and the emotions that Willow brought out in him. Love? No. But she did make him feel desire, and acceptance, friendship, and control. And the control kept the demon dormant. It was just enough of a taste of darkness to satisfy his demon and keep him quiet, and for that alone, Angel was in debt to Willow. While cheating on Buffy was wrong, Willow was able to give him something that she never could, something other than sexual release. It was acceptance of what he was.
“Yes,” he answered her honestly, “I think it’s worth it.”
“Angel…”
“No, no more talking, Willow… we’ve analyzed it enough for one night.”
She sighed deeply, settling into his arms, “Ok…”
“I do have one last question, though…” he said.
“Yeah?”
“That… what… that thing you did to me
earlier… would you ever consider letting me reciprocate?”
THE END